I didn’t see it. Lying in bed last night, I flipped on SportsCenter just in time to catch the highlights. For a moment, I thought Orson Welles might be back pulling the sports version of “War of the Worlds” on us all. Think about it — it snuck in to our lives without notice like the aliens in the famous H.G. Wells novel turned sci-fi flick. We didn’t notice yesterday as the AFC and NFC championship games played out in undramatic fashion. Once the Seahawks had put the Panthers to bed, I considered the night over. I was ready to prepare for the upcoming work week. I was ready to call the weekend, and then I saw it.

Kobe Bryant, who for some reason has manifested himself into one of the devil’s minions in the minds of most sports fans, dropped 81 points on the haphazard Toronto Raptors last night, giving him the second highest single game total of all-time, behind only Wilt and his famously unrecorded 100 that fateful night in Hershey.

I am so torn between just ripping this entire situation for the sake of tearing into Kobe, but I just can’t, and hence, my nightmare. I have to applaud it. I have to marvel at it. I have to actually hit ESPN Classic this week and watch it. I’m still shocked and dumbfounded by it. He shot 28-46 from the floor. Wait, the 28 is impressive but let me repeat the other part — he shot 46 times from the floor! Even Allen Iverson doesn’t shoot that much in a given night combining his hoops activities with his social activities. How do you let a guy get off 46 shots? Do you have no pride? At shot 40, I’m taking him out with a Russian sickle. And sadly, this is where I will attack. The Toronto Raptors entire team, save Chris Bosh, should be taken out to pasture and summarily put out of their misery.

The expansion of sports has watered it down to the point where this kind of thing can happen. Teams as horrendous as the Toronto Raptors roam the basketball landscape, with players like Pape Sow and Jose Calderon logging significant minutes. In baseball, expansion has left the average fifth starter with the poise and location of a dart player with Parkinson’s disease. Hockey is in Nashville for Christ’s sake. And football, that bashion of parity in pro sports, gave you two blowout conference championship games yesterday.

The fact that Kobe did this in a game that was in doubt until the fourth quarter is the most amazing part to me. The fact that he was going to get the ball, he was going to shoot the ball, and the five Raptors on the floor could do nothing about it amazes me too. I mean, Toronto was up 14 at the half! Put a body on him! Has Sam Mitchell ever heard of the box and one? How do you not adjust to defend and double him every time down the court when you are only down 6 heading into the fourth?

This kind of thing absolutely baffles me, but then again, so does the NBA on the whole. The league is in shambles, with only Detroit, Phoenix, Dallas and San Antonio worth the moniker of “team.” It’s a league of “me” players, and although Kobe’s achievement last night should be lauded, it only proves that he will never win another NBA title. That kind of ego can not win in the NBA. I love watching A.I. play, but he’ll never win a title. I love watching Tracy McGrady, or KG, but they won’t ever win titles. You can’t do it on your own. It’s never been done. For every Jordan, there’s a Pippen.

Kobe can hang his hat on this, and he was humble in his comments afterward. I will give him that. When a player gets in a groove like that it’s always something to see, but unless he starts to groove with some of the other purple and yellow fellows, he’ll be humble at home real early this spring.